Heavy Snow. Beautiful.

Sat, Apr 18, 2009

“This snow’ll break some trees. Take that broom, child, and knock it off the bushes outside the house.”
Dad.
He called me child.
And sometimes he would go out with me. We were freedom riders, bashing away at snowy chains…..their captives’ limbs bobbing and waving their gratitude.

I stand at the window and watch the huge snowflakes. big as dimes and quarters.
mesmerized
remembering
Only happy memories remain. All the rest has been cleansed and purified.

Now I can see what has been there all along. Al the love just behind appearances. It seems so simple .

It occurs to me that I am, without noticing too much, starting to get a lot more mystical. I am starting to remember past lives, starting to know what people are thinking. I am actually starting to stop myself before I blurt out my thoughts and questions…I think…”is it helpful?”
And I wait for the answer.

All I can say is I am a student of A Course In Miracles. For 17 years I lived close by an enlightened consciousness, a fully realized being, who cared more about my awakening than he cared whether I liked him or not.
For this I loved him, with a love like no other.
No other in the world.
Because he helped me in my endeavor to leave the world, the life/death cycle, the time/space continuum…however you want to say that. And with no other agenda.

I want Self Realization and if I can speed things up, DANG! Bring it on! I find this world uninteresting in what it offers. I have used it all up here.

In the utilization of this amazing map out of 3rd dimension consciousness into my subjective Real Self awareness, I am being undone.

This is tough on my very strong ego, who likes to think anything she can add is useful — she needs to feel needed. Such a girl, this idea I have about myself.

But no - my deal is allowing all the crap she came up with in the first place to be undone. She had some ideas, oh yeah. And some plans and projects.

And….as I am undone I am remembering … “re” “member-ing” I am being reinstated to full consciousness. I am reaching past linear time and limited space…it’s extremely cool…. Starting to remember past lives, feel karmic relationships, now I can observe the psychic patterning that called them all into being for me. All my little taskmasters, showing me the facets of my psychology, so I can look in horror, step back, bring in the love, and watch the whole theatre set disassemble and reformulate.

I am interfering less and less.

And you ! I see you now. I see the love even when you don’t. And I no longer need for you to see it, I can see it for us both. We are all so extraordinary, even the least of us. I feel the heart of the Creator in each one of us.

We are joined. Our minds are joined. I know you. I know what you are thinking.

TRINITY
Hello, Neo.

NEO
How did you know that –

TRINITY
I know a lot about you. I’ve been
wanting to meet you for some time.

NEO
Who are you?

TRINITY
My name is Trinity.

NEO
Trinity? The Trinity? The
Trinity that cracked the I.R.S.
Kansas City D-Base?

TRINITY
That was a long time ago.

NEO
Gee-zus.

TRINITY
What?
——

Now my mind wanders away from all the complexity….naturally tending toward wholeness. And Gratitude.

Occasionally I ask, “How did I ever manage to get through all that pain?” and I have compassion for the still sleeping and the dead unconscious.